Cleanse
by AnonymousWriterSaysHi
Summary: One can clean away the dirt and the blood. One cannot clean away the feeling, the nightmares, the fear. What happened to Berwald to make him go to such lengths for cleanliness? Will his friends help him realize pain cannot be washed away so simply? Will things get better through time or will time not even be enough to scrub away the memory? TWs inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey yo guys! Well, let's get simple stuff out of the way first. So I don't own any of this except for the idea, Matthias=Denmark Lukas=Norway Finland=Tino Emil=Iceland Berwald=Sweden, this story is pretty much one big Trigger Warning. Will feature rape/sexual assault, possible manic depression, possible self-mutilation or harm, smut. Hopefully I'll remember to put warnings at the beginning of each chapter. Will have tons of feels, of course. Will be kind of dark in some parts, so watch out. Hope you enjoy and don't forget to review and tell me what you think. Finally trying to get back into the fanfiction world. Or at least, writing it, anyway. Thanks for reading!**

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5:27 PM, Tuesday, April 22nd. Lukas, Matthias, Tino, and Emil were working around the kitchen. If anyone had been standing there beside them, he or she would have noticed the tension and the faces of the four Nordics. Not to mention, every few moments one of the boys would turn to the clock or to one another. Three hours ago is when Berwald should have walked in the door and hung his coat on the rack – just like every weekday. But, he was late: three hours and twenty-sev – twenty-EIGHT minutes late to be exact. His roommates, his friends weren't worried – they were terrified. Of course, most of them didn't show it. They didn't want anyone to see the fear or the paranoia in their eyes. They didn't want to admit to the tension or speak about the possibilities of what or _why_.

It remained like this for another eleven minutes, and that's when the door swung open. None of the four men had time to process what was going on as they watched the door just-as-quickly slam shut and a flash of blue dash up the stairs. That's when the men succumbed to the fear. What would make Berwald behave like that? He showed such control and tranquility over everything – what could make him run and hide? The men heard the shower turn on and were not only worried, but curious. Perhaps something had happened, like an accident? They knew they had to question Berwald, and so Matthias turned to Lukas and nodded, then both of them climbed up the stairs, following their friend.

Matthias and Lukas weren't sure what to think of the situation when faced with it. They approached the door and heard incessant crying and what sounded like scrubbing. Matthias, with shock present in his features, turned and faced his friend, silently asking him if he had any ideas. The shorter blonde shook his head and, with a sigh, the Danish man opened the door, unsure of what to be ready for.

Inside, they were able to see blood on the floor, on Berwald's clothes, and draining into the tub where Berwald was showering. They were both struck with horror as they watched their friend scrub away at his own body through the curtain. Matthias took a deep breath and knocked softly on the already open door, "Berwald?" They heard the man gasp, like they had severely frightened him, "W-what? Go away!" Matthias felt taken aback by the tone and fear in Berwald's voice, not to mention the crying. The two stood their ground but voices wavered, "Berwald, what's the matter? Are you hurt?" Lukas heard the choked sob right before he answered softly, "No."

Outside, Lukas was obviously showing some fear and worry, but inside his heart was breaking. His best friend was hurt, and he was lying about it. "Berwald, it's okay. We want to help you. If you want, you and I can talk 1-on-1. Okay?" Berwald contemplated what Lukas told him, but he knew he wouldn't be able to face what had happened earlier that afternoon, "I can't." They heard the crack in his voice and how afraid he was. They, in a way, didn't know what to think. They had no idea what had happened and if Berwald would ever tell them.

"Berwald, you can do anything. I don't want to hear you say 'I can't' because that isn't true. Please, let us help." While it was obscured by the curtain and falling water, they heard their friend begin to cry again. Matthias stared at the ground, angry at whatever or whoever had made Berwald feel like this. Lukas, however, was still afraid. What if, heaven forbid, _Berwald _had been the one to hurt someone, and not the other way around? What if was someone else's blood? What would make such a cool, collected man who was very firm in his beliefs towards anti-violence…cause someone such harm? And why would he not try to help?

"Matthias, give me and Berwald some time." Matthias, knowing he was not going to get anywhere with his frightened friend, nodded and left, shutting the door behind him. He was faced with the other two Nordics, worry etched in their features. He simply shrugged and wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders, "Come on, Guys. Let's go for a walk." The two, seeing that Matthias was near his breaking point, nodded and walked out with him, hoping and praying Berwald was alright. They knew better than to ask right now.

"Berwald, I don't know what happened today. I don't know why you're bloody and scared. I don't know why you're three-and-a-half hours late. But I do know that we are a family, and if you are in trouble, you can talk to us. I am your friend – you're my _best_ friend. If anything has happened, I will help you, no matter what. I'll get you help and care, and I'll be there for you every step of the way, no matter how long it takes us. We can get through this together. I swear to you, you aren't alone. Now, can you talk to me?" Lukas sat down outside the shower and waited. He wanted Berwald to consider everything and hopefully tell him the truth. Lukas knows Berwald has trouble with trust, but he also knows Berwald does trust him. _Perhaps_, he thinks, _if I wait this out, he'll talk. _And so, he waits.

It takes twenty minutes. Twenty minutes of silence, anxiety, and fear, but Berwald finally speaks, "I don't know what to do." Lukas, secretly relieved that Berwald is willing to open up to him, speaks, "The first thing you do is talk." Berwald shuts off the water, and Lukas turns towards the curtain, "Are you okay?" With a deep sigh, Berwald hesitantly whispers, "It hurt." Although he was begin to become frightened again, Lukas swallowed and nodded to himself, "What hurt?" "I wanted to get clean." was all the response he received. Unsure of where that statement came from, Lukas brushed it off, "Why, were you dirty?" When Lukas heard Berwald slam his fist again the wall, he jumped, "SHUT UP!"

Why was Berwald so angry all of a sudden? Lukas stepped back, "Berwald, it's okay. I was just asking a question. Was it the blood? Is that why you wanted to get clean? You were bleeding?" The labored breathing from inside the bath slowed and evened out, "No. That's not why." Confused, Lukas shrugged, "Then why?" And the response he received, was certainly going to change things in this conversation, and in the future,

"_They__ made me dirty._"


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, Chapter 2! Uh, nothing really "going down" here yet. Saving the true start for Ch. 3 in the revelation! Well, it has been brought to my attention that some are worried that France is the attacker. The truth? N.O. I hate the whole "France is a rapist" thing just as much as any true fan should. I would NEVER do that! France will actually be a heroic character in this little escapade, helping Berwald accept and overcome this trauma he has been dealt. ****So fear not, my fellow readers! That will never, ever happen! (Or at least, never in my stories.)**

The statement ran through Lukas's head, over and over. "_They made me dirty. They made me dirty…" _Lukas took a deep breath, "Why don't you come out of the shower and we can talk about what they did?" He knew that Berwald was still quite uneasy about the whole ordeal, even if he didn't know what the "whole ordeal" exactly was. However, Lukas flinched as Berwald replied, "No, I can't. I'm – I'm not clean!" The yelp in pain and sound of scrubbing against skin made Lukas want to cry. He knew his friend's body had to be raw, and that rubbing so constantly could cause more pain, blood, and infections, "Berwald, come on. You've been in there for a while, I'm sure it's all gone now."

"No, no it's not. Still dirty. Hurts. Bloody. Need it to go away." The rambling carried on – now in Swedish – and Lukas sighed, running a hand through his short hair. Convincing Berwald to come out of the shower would be difficult, and he knew that any evidence or DNA that may have been left was surely gone. No matter how dirty Berwald felt, Lukas knew his body was viciously scrubbed clean. "Can, can you tell me what happened?" The sound of a bottle being dropped echoed through the room, and Berwald did not answer. Knowing that getting an honest answer would take more work, Lukas stood, "Hey, it's okay. I want to help. Can I see any wounds you have and make sure they're clean and not infected? That scrubbing must have taken a number on your skin." As Lukas reached for the curtain, Berwald screamed and held it shut, "NO!" Disappointed at the rejection (he hoped he had earned that much trust by now), Lukas stepped away toward the door again, "Okay, that's fine. Just, tell me how bad you're hurt. Do you want a doctor?"

"I don't want anyone, ANYONE to know about this. You have to swear to me, on your little brother's life, that you won't tell anyone about this. You have to do that for me, Luka. You have to." The Norwegian let Berwald's words seep into his head before deciding on an answer, "You know I can't do that, Berwald. If someone hurt you, if someone made you do bad things, you have to be honest so we can stop them." Things went quiet for a moment before, with venom and horror dripping from his voice, Berwald hissed, "What do you mean by "bad things."

"If someone forced you to do something without your consent, you know it's not your fault-""DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE I'M SOME FUCKING GIRL, NORGE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE GETTING INTO." Lukas winced. Berwald didn't yell often, and he could tell the more he pressed, the more he broke Berwald's walls. Berwald hated having someone trying to break his barriers. "Boys can be raped too, Berwald Oxenstierna. You know that." Berwald screamed and Lukas covered his ears, scrunching his face together in discomfort. For a man with such a deep, dark voice, he sure could hit a high pitch. "_YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH LUKAS! THIS IS NONE OF YOUR OR ANYONE'S DAMN BUSINESS. LEAVE ME ALONE._"

Norway leaned against the wall and tried to think of his next move. He knew if he laid into Berwald any more, he'd never get anything. Berwald simply was not ready to face what happened. With some more thought, he sighed sorrowfully, "I'll be right next door if you need anything, Berwald. Take as long as you need, and I'm here whenever you'd like to talk." He pulled the door open and stared at the ground, feeling guilty and ashamed of his inability to get Berwald to do anything besides become enraged and frightened. Berwald was never going to be alone, no matter how things turned out. If Berwald was ready tonight, then Lukas was willing to sit with him until he couldn't talk anymore. If he had nightmares, the family would be right there, convincing him that whatever ripped and tore at Berwald's sanity and safety was over and gone. They would do anything for any member of their dysfunctional, inseparable little group. And he had to make sure Berwald understood that, "No matter what_ happened _or what_ happens,_ Berwald, the four of us will be right by your side. Whenever you're ready." He was just about the shut the door when he heard Berwald mutter something. "I'm sorry, what was that Berwald? I can't hear you over the water."

"I said, you promise you won't make me tell anyone else until I'm ready?"

Lukas internally sighed in relief and he nodded before realizing the other man couldn't see him, "Yes. I swear, you don't have to tell unless you're ready. But, if you're hurt I do want to get you help." The curtain moved as Berwald peeked out, and Lukas could see the blood and bruises on the side of his face and mouth, "Okay. Can I stay in here?" Lukas nodded and shut the door, sitting on the floor in front of Berwald,

"Talk to me."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! Well, here's chapter 3! I'm going to tell you, this chapter is 100% dialogue from Berwald's perspective. Triggers for derogatory, offensive names, hate crimes, suicidal/depressed undertones, and rape. Hope you guys like the story. :)**

"Talk to you? _Talk to you?_ Talk to you about what, the scariest experience of my life? Nor, I don't think I've ever been more terrified in my existence. I don't know how this happened to me. I don't know _why._ Well, at least, why they did such…horrible things. I know that they hated me. They knew me. How, I don't know. I didn't know them. But, they knew my name and my sexuality, and that seemed to prove to be enough for them. You want to know what happened to me today? Fine.

I had been walking to my car when someone approached me. He said he needed help. His boyfriend had fallen down some stairs carrying boxes out a store a couple of buildings down, and that he was bleeding and hurt. I didn't know it was a rouse – some fool I was. I believed him. I wanted to help; I went with him. When he took me into the alley where his so-called "boyfriend" was hurt, I saw the other guys. They laughed at my gullibility and suddenly, I was on the ground. They began hitting me, anywhere they could. Kicking me in the stomach, slapping my face, and that's when one of them grabbed my wrists. He held me down to the ground. They ripped off my clothes and stuck my tie in my mouth as a gag.

I felt the first one. Like, I could actually feel him. After the fourth or fifth time I just numbed it out. He tore my boxers off and threw them to the side. He didn't do anything to…to prep me. I wanted to scream; it was so painful. Of course, he just laughed at my pain. Said that, 'as a faggot, I should love this'. If I could have, I would have punched him in the face. He and his friends kept calling me names like 'fag' and 'queer'. They laughed and told me to enjoy it. How on Earth did they expect me to do that?

Then, when he…'finished', the second one did it. I remember, he was thicker but shorter, and it hurt more. I felt like I was being ripped in half. No one came to help me. It carried on for what felt like days. Apparently, it was only three hours. Three hours too many.

Then came the third and then the first one again. It was horrible. But not as horrible as the final one. The one who had been holding my wrists made someone else take me and flip me over onto my hands and knees. He told me to call him 'daddy'. I thought I was going to vomit. He was rough and disgusting and beat me while he did it, and he did it over and over again. It must have been at least an hour. He must have came at least three times. He made me give him oral sex and tried to make me get into it. He actually wanted me to act like I enjoy it. He said to talk dirty to him. I said no, but then he became angry and pulled a knife out. Told me, if I didn't, then my son would be in danger. I have no idea how he knows about Peter, but I didn't want to risk it.

That was probably the worst of it all. The fact that I had to act so…vile, just to survive. I'm never going to forgive myself for doing all those things they made me do, no matter what you say. You're right – the rape, the attack, is not my fault. But, the things I had to do, those were partially choice. I should have let him beat the hell out of me instead. I would be able to eventually erase that memory. I can't ever forget what I had to do, what I had to say and act like. It was awful. It was just simply awful.

It hurt, Lukas. It hurt so badly. Every moment, every goddamn waking second of it made me wish I could die. I wished I was mortal; I wished I was normal. I wanted them to just kill me and leave. I don't want to _live_ _with this_. I want to wash it away, just like I did the dirt outside. I'm filthy, Lukas. I'm filthy and disgusting and undeserving of the goodness help can give me. I don't want what normal rape victims get – therapy and support and justice. I just want to forget. I just want to scrub it all away. Just like they scrubbed away my faith and hope in this world and myself.

I don't know if you understand. I honestly don't. I don't know if I would understand if it hadn't happened to me. I know that you all just want to help me, but this time, I think that the best help is to just let it go. Maybe, even…

To simply _let me go_."

**PS. Sorry that this chapter was just a little shorter than the others. I wanted a speech-only chapter and there's only so much you can say, you know? Hope you guys like it so far; I'm actually pretty happy with how it's turning out. **


	4. Chapter 4

After listening to Berwald's speech, Lukas was in tears. How could someone do such…morbid things to his best friend? He was beyond distraught over the worry and fear for his friend, "Berwald…I – I…" He couldn't seem to form sentences. Berwald peeked out towards his crying friend and stared desolately, "Don't…don't cry. It ain't worth cryin' over. Please Norge." Lukas stood and moved towards the shower, "Come out, Berwald. It'll be okay, I swear you're clean. We can do whatever you want." Lukas gazed up at his friend's face, not wanting to look at the wounds on the rest of his body, knowing that would only make Berwald uncomfortable. Berwald, secretly thankful that his friend hadn't noticed his lower injuries, considered everything before pulling the curtain closed. Lukas, thinking Berwald had just shut him out, groaned softly to himself and moved towards the door, giving up. He pulled it open and leaned against the frame, "This isn't working Berwald. I'm here when you're ready…if you're ever ready."

As Lukas closed the door, he heard the water turn off. Footsteps padded through the bathroom and he heard a towel be yanked off the rack. He stood outside the door, unsure of whether to walk away or walk in. The decision was made for him as the door was yanked open and a near-naked, glasses-less Berwald stared at him, "I was hoping you hadn't left." His face twitched into a smile as he realized that Norway wasn't leaving. Luka nodded, eyes drifting slightly to his chest. His breath hitched as he saw all of the wounds, some still bleeding profusely. He pushed his way inside and grabbed a hand towel, pressing it against one of the deeper gashes. Berwald whined in pain and Lukas moved to his tip-toes, pressing his lips to his cheek, "I'm sorry it hurts. Just, take a deep breath and grip my hand when it hurts too much."

Berwald sat on the toilet as Lukas wiped at the bleeding wounds, gripping tight at his open hand and groaning and yelping in pain. "Hurts, Luka, it hurts." The Norwegian guiltily responded by squeezing his hand and then bringing it to his lips, "I'm sorry~ I know it hurts." Norway's hand retracted from Berwald's abdomen and the Swede released the breath he didn't realize he was holding. Norge scrounged around the cabinet at the bottom of the sink for bandages to wrap up Berwald's now sterile wounds. In the meantime, Berwald began rubbing at one of the healing cuts, causing it to reopen. Lukas clicked his tongue at Berwald and patted it down again, "Tsk tsk tsk, no no no, don't you do that." Berwald's eyebrow twitched as he ignored Lukas's scolding, rubbing at another abrasion and watching it, too, begin to drip blood onto his thigh. Lukas, worried about Berwald, grabbed his hands and held them down, "I said, no. Don't do that. It's bad." He cleaned the newly opened laceration and stared fake-angrily at his injured friend, warning him silently not to do it again.

Of course, Berwald didn't listen.

"Berwald, I said NO!" "I don't like this…" Lukas sighed as he cleaned the FIFTH wound Berwald pulled or irritated open. This time, however, Lukas was willing to go farther. He reached for Berwald's belt behind him and pulled it out of the loops of Berwald's jeans, pulling Berwald's wrists together. He wrapped the leather strap around his arms and tied it tightly, "Now stop it!" Berwald stared pained at Lukas, the usually uncommon emotion of fear etched in his features and filled to the brim in his eyes. Luka didn't understand why, at first. Then, the revelation hit him. He gazed down at the restraints and very quickly removed them, "No, I'm sorry. Please, please it's okay. I'm not trying to hurt you. I won't tie you like that again, okay?" Berwald simply shrugged and nodded, not showing the uneasiness and horror outside. He knew Lukas would have never meant it like that, in a violent, hurtful way, but it still made Berwald feel ill.

"Luka, stop. Stop!" Lukas pulled away as Berwald stood and threw the lid up on the toilet, dropping to his knees and releasing any contents in his stomach into the bowl. Lukas sighed sadly as he rubbed Berwald's back, pulling his bangs away from his face so his hair would stay clean. He cooed and whispered into Ber's ear, soothing words spilling from his mouth. Berwald groaned and leaned against Lukas, stomach empty and head spinning. Ber felt a hand comb through his hair as he shifted to get comfortable on Luka's lap. He licked his lips and coughed, "Can I have some water?" A small smile graced Norway's face as he nodded and lifted Berwald's head, setting clothes and towels underneath it for support. He stood and exited the bathroom, heading towards the kitchen.

Lukas's smiles and kindness were all a façade. No matter how unemotional he was around others, he was a human, an ex-Viking, and a true family man. So, no one was around to be shocked as he slammed his fist through the wall, continuing through the living area into the kitchen, knocking papers and trivial things off of countertops. He hollered and shouted at the air in Norwegian, cursing whoever had dared bring pain onto his loved ones. His anger seeped into the air and through his body the more he let himself act as he felt. Lukas felt like his family was going to progressively break apart if they didn't come together and try to get through this as a single family, and he'd be alone again. And, Odin knows he couldn't handle _that._

Berwald stared from behind the wall, tears dripping down his face. He knew, or at least believed, he was the reason his family was breaking apart. He couldn't handle the guilt, but he also knew he could never, _ever_ confront Lukas about this feeling. Berwald didn't desire the pity or reassurance that he knew would come with coming forward. He'd simply have to convince Lukas to not tell anyone about what happened to him. Berwald could never come forward about his attack, his depression, and his fears, ignoring the consequences that would come with that.

Either way, it seemed Berwald had quite the battle ahead.


	5. Chapter 5

**Well, this certainly took an interesting turn. Honestly, I'm just kind of doing this all on the spot. I had no idea this was this chapter would turn out...hope you enjoy!**

Lukas's angry Norwegian rambling covered the sounds Berwald accidentally released while hiding his face in his hands. He moved upstairs and quickly dressed himself, still soaked from his shower, and moved inaudibly into his bedroom, grabbing a duffel bag and throwing what he believed he needed inside. He couldn't face his family, his friends, or his colleagues after everything that had happened to him today. He stared longingly at the door for a moment, part of him praying Lukas would run and tell him that everything would be fine in the end – that he didn't need to be afraid. But no one came. He pulled the window open and stepped out into the cold wind, leaving everything he had built upon for centuries behind.

Of course, when he exited the window and reached the yard, he was quick to hide as he heard the recognizable laugh of Denmark. It was loud and uncontrolled, just like Matthias. He stared sadly as his family pushed each other around as they entered the house. Berwald gingerly approached the window, curious as to what would happen when the three entered the house. Would they carry on as they had? Would they ever even notice his absence? So, ignoring the reopened wounds and pain coursing through his body, he leaned against the side of the house, watching and listening intently.

Matthias, Tino, and Emil all quieted down upon entrance into their home. Lukas was in the kitchen, smacking himself around and mumbling in Norwegian. Matthias was the first to approach, grabbing his friend's shoulders, "How'd it go? What happened to Ber? Is he alright? Should we call the cops or something?" Luke pushed him away and stared at the ground, "I don't exactly know. Berwald told me what had happened, or, at least, everything he felt he could. I feel he's hiding something else but I won't approach him on it. He's really uneasy about it; it really shook him up, Matthias. But, he's really hurt. Hopefully, after a little bit of leaving him alone to calm down, I can get him to go to the hospital. Would one of you mind going upstairs into the bathroom, just making sure he's okay?" Tino nodded and jogged up the stairs, anxious to see his friend.

"So, what happened to him?" Matthias stared at Lukas, firm in his need to know. He saw himself as not only the eldest, but the "big-brother" figure for everyone in the group. Whenever one of them was sick or hurt, Matthias was there, helping however he could. He knew, however, that it was more difficult for Berwald to come forward when something was wrong, believing it would be better to forget and ignore rather than fight. That trait, that anti-uproar attitude that was only Berwald Oxenstierna had gotten him into some trouble with the other members of their makeshift little family, but they still loved him for it.

"Matthias, if I could tell you, I would. But Berwald was really freaked about it. He made me _swear_ not to tell anyone." The Dane stared confused, "What could he have to hide? He was hurt! It's not his fault!" Emil, unsure if he should hear this conversation, coughed and looked away, avoiding the two elder men in front of him. "Emil, it's cool. You're a member of this family, too. You can listen in, participate." The pale teen nodded, "Maybe Berwald thinks it is his fault. Maybe he blames himself for something that happened while he was attacked." Lukas, swallowing down his nervousness, nodded slightly, "You're on the right track." But, since Denmark had never exactly been "in control" of his emotions, he snapped, "This isn't a goddamn guessing game, Luke! Tell us what happened to Berwald!" They began to fight, Lukas trying to protect Berwald's secret, when they heard a scream. It was Tino. They listened as he ran down the stairs and flung himself into the kitchen, and when Tino spook, Berwald ran.

"He's gone! Berwald's gone!"

The three stopped bickering and turned, each showing different emotions. While Matthias and Emil's were similar, confusion, Lukas was horrified, "What the fuck do you mean he's GONE?!" Emil moved to his brother and grabbed his arm, "Where would Berwald even go? If he's hurt, how did he get out?" Tino's face paled as he realized what Lukas was thinking, "One of his drawers was pulled out. His window was open…"

"SON OF A BITCH! He ran!" Lukas pushed the others out of the way and dashed outside, looking around, "There's no way he's been gone for very long. I was with him barely ten minutes ago!" Matthias grabbed him, "Why would he run?"

"Look, what happened to Ber was _bad._ He's terrified, and think about it, we're talking about _Berwald _here. He feels so many bad things: guilt, fear, anger. He ran because we're right about him. He hates conflict. He hates violence and fighting. He doesn't vengeance. He wants to forget. Berwald doesn't want to bring us into this, and he thinks things would be better if he were gone so we wouldn't have to worry about him. Don't ask me how I know these things, but Berwald is on the edge. He's hiding from us for a reason. He doesn't want to face this. I don't think he gets that it's gonna be better for him to do it with us rather than be stuck with this forever. We've got to find him and _get him some goddamn help._"

Finn, Den, and Ice all stared at their friend, trying to comprehend what was going on. Was Berwald as messed up as Lukas was saying? "Why, why didn't he just…tell us? We would have helped him without making him go through any more pain." Emil asked, shaking his head and kicking the rail on the porch. He didn't understand what had _really_ happened to Berwald, nor did Tino. But, Matthias began to catch on (he's not as ignorant as he appears sometimes), "Are you telling us what I _think_ you're telling us?" He grabbed Lukas by the arm and dragged him away from the younger boys, staring him dead in the eye. The two still by the front door couldn't hear, but they saw Matthias say as single word, and then Lukas began to cry. Luke nodded and Matthias pulled him close, rubbing his back comfortingly. They heard Lukas apologize again and again while Matthias just shushed him.

Matthias and Lukas walked back a few moments later, and Lukas seemed more collect while Matthias was angry. "I'm sure we'll find him. Why don't we all split up and look around the block? He couldn't have gotten far, especially not injured." The guys split up the neighborhood so they knew where to begin and headed off, all having their phones in case someone found him. It took thirty minutes of searching before Matthias called the group, "Hey guys, let's head back to the house. We can get in the car and drive aro – Guys, guys hold up – Oh fuck Guys, I've got him. Call an ambulance! Shit, come on Ber, wake up! Wake up! I don't feel a pulse, _call for help! Berwald!"_

**Hmm, gee, wonder what happens? I don't even know. We'll see, won't we? Update soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

Eyes opened to white light and a persistent beeping noise, kept in unchanging intervals. He was confused, his mind hazy and his line of sight blurry. He had no idea where he was, why he was there, or what had happened. His memory was spotted and choppy, his recollection of the past events inconsistent and jumbled. He forced his eyes open, noticing the pale ceiling above him and the sunshine coming in from the window next to his head. _Am I in heaven?_ He considered, his eyesight naturally blurry without his bifocals. He took a deep breath as the pain hit. It was everywhere, coursing and throbbing and seeming to rip his apart. He tried to close his eyes and forget about it but he couldn't make it stop. He felt his hands, twitching out of the numbness his slumber caused. The beeping, he realized, was from the monitor above his head. _I'm…I'm in a hospital?_ He gazed around, and then saw a human form in the chair by the window. He couldn't make out who exactly it was, but he could tell that the person was tall, blond, and sleeping. He reached out blindly, hitting a tray until he felt skin. He poked and slapped, knowing it was rude and uncalled for, but he couldn't seem to form any words. The form moved and turned to face him. He heard the person say something, but couldn't understand it. The mystery person stood and moved toward the door and motioned toward someone or something. He could make out another form, this one brunette and feminine, enter. He thought, at first, it may have been an angel, with the white jacket. But, when she began to talk about something to the other person, he put it together that this person was a medic.

Finally things were clear. He could begin to understand what was going on, and why. He felt the blinding pain through his body, the IV in his arm…the memories. The memories of what had happened to him in the last 48 hours came flooding back. He didn't realize it, but he began to scream. His monitor was going crazy and the doctor screamed for help. He felt restraints on his arms, legs, and chest. _Was I even moving?_ He hadn't noticed his dangerous movements. The doctor grabbed his head and held him still, pointing a flashlight into his eyes, asking…something. He had no idea what, he was too overwhelmed. The feeling of something tearing rushed through his abdomen, and he could make out the doctor curse as pressure was put on his belly. _I'm bleeding? What…what happened?_ The original person once sleeping beside him was against the wall, slumped. He figured the blurry figure was crying, and he was unsure why. _Do I even know him? Wait…_ He screamed, or at least tried, out his friend's name, hoping he was right. The man gazed up, and inside, he cheered. _Yes!_ His hearing was becoming clearer, and he could hear the doctor inform the blond he was alright, just to let him rest and take it easy. The doctor and nurses left, leaving him alone with the blonde visitor.

"Hey, look, I don't know if you can hear me, and I don't think you can see me, but I'm here. We are all here for you. I know what you've been through, and I can't apologize enough. _No one deserves this. _No one deserves _any_ of this. Don't you dare blame yourself like I know you were. That's why you left. It is not, in anyway, your fault. We just want to help you. We don't care about what you think, in all honesty. We just want you to get better. We don't want you gone, we want you safe. Please, try to see it from our perspective. We know you're hurt, and scared, and upset. We know you just want what is best for this family. But you are an important member OF said family. Don't ever do this again. Let us in, and we will help you. But, you have to give us a chance. Please? We love you. I love you."

The person in the bed began to cry, and Matthias knew. He moved over towards the crying patient and grabbed his hand, kissing it and pulling him close. He listened close as his friend rambled about everything that had happened. Everything he thought. He talked about his thoughts on suicide, and how he felt alone. He was scared, he wanted to forget. Matthias just listened. He knew his friend would need help, support, and love. Love that he – and the others – were willing to give. His friend would need plenty of help. Hopefully, with a little time and talking, he could get his friend to come forward so no one else gets hurt. But, for now, his only focus was the body clinging to his chest. Something he wished he could have under different circumstances. But, that was something of the least amount of importance. So, with a deep breath to stop his palpitating heart, he rubbed at the crying form on his body, comforting him,

In truth, Matthias had never been more scared in his life than when he found his dear friend bleeding on the ground, unconscious and barely breathing. Blood was running from his mouth and the wounds on his stomach which obviously hadn't been properly treated. He had been on the phone with his friends just saying that he believed they should get together and search somewhere else when he found him passed out in the bushes. It was the most horrifying experience of Matthias's life; it made his heart seem to stop for a second. He put on pressure as he believed he should with a jacket and his knee while he began pulling his mouth open, trying to make sure he could breathe properly. He had just begun CPR – he learned it one summer when he volunteered as a life guard at a camp – when the paramedics arrived. Two men had to hold him to the ground while they put his loved one on that stretcher. He wasn't allowed in the ambulance either. It made him wince every time he thought about it. All that mattered, though, was that in the end, he had made it. He had survived. And, now, he just had to recover.

"No matter what happens, Berwald Oxenstierna, we will still love you. We aren't going anywhere."

**I want your opinion. I'm considering adding a smidge of romance near the end. I think you can see what ship I'm leaning towards. What do you think? Unrequited? Pre-slash? Eventual pairing? I'd LOVE feedback on this story guys! Tell me what you think in a review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, so, this is where I bring in that "unexpected" character in the list. Bit of a shocking twist, I suppose. Even with what happens in this chapter, the focus will still remain mostly on Berwald and his family, who will of course be back to supporting him in the next chapter. Enjoy!**

Berwald passed out again soon after his confession to Matthias. He awoke again, feeling a bit more cognizant of his surroundings and less pain. He saw a face he least expected sitting at his bedside. Sure, they were acquaintances but he hardly ever spook to him. Ber squinted as he reached clumsily for his glasses on the tray at his side, slipping them on and groaning,

"Francis? What are you doing here?"

The long-haired man grimaced and moved to the edge of the bed, looking down at Berwald, "I heard that you were in the hospital and decided I must come see that you are alright." _How unusual, _Berwald thought, _I wouldn't exactly call us 'close', why? Why come see me?_ Berwald didn't believe a word of it, and proceeded to push him away, "Well, you've seen me, but I'm tired, and not in the mood for company." Berwald nodded, _That works, I suppose. I don't want to be rude; I just wish to be alone. No more god blasted pity. _The Frenchman shook his head, "Mon amie, please listen to me. I know." The Swede's heart stopped for a second. What does he _think_ he knows? Who would tell him? _Why does he care?_ "You have **no** idea what I've been through, Francis Bonnefoy." The look in the Frenchman's eyes told a different story. Francis swallowed down his worry for the sake of a friend and colleague, knowing he had to approach him about what had happened…to the both of them. He looked toward the injured blond man in front of him and nervously bit his lip, grabbing the other man's hand to act as a sign of comfort, "I, most unfortunately, know _exactly_ what you've been through, Berwald Oxenstierna."

The blood running in Berwald's veins froze. He wasn't involved – Berwald would surely remember that. He always had a hunch that people were wrong about Francis; he wasn't some brainless, thinks-with-his-dick pervert. He surely wasn't a rapist like some made him to be. So his argument that he "understood" made little sense. Not sure of where Francis was heading with his talk, Berwald stared at the wall facing away from France and said, "What makes you think you know what I'm going through? Do you even know what _happened?_" Francis nodded softly and scratched his head. He certainly _knew_ what Berwald had just recently overcome, "I know because…I've been there. I know what it feels like…the pain of what you went through. I've gone through it too." He, Berwald, was stunned. The only way he would really know – and be able to see what had _really_ happened to Berwald – was if…

"When?"

Francis, not shocked by the audacity of his correct conclusion but rather the fact that he did not question it, chuckled, "Wow, you actually believe me? You're the first. I told England, and America, and Germany, but they thought I was just being a self-fulfilled, attention-seeking whore…like always. After they laughed at my face following my rather upsetting enlightenment of why they should stop calling me such horrible names, I decided I would simply carry on like it never happened. That, my friend, was the most idiotic decision of my life. It brought me so much pain that I didn't need or deserve. I regret that decision with every fibre of my being, considering I had the power to stop them. I will never forgive myself.

You see, I knew the moment your family walked into the meeting and informed us you had been injured in an 'accident' on your way home from work what had actually happened to you. I approached Norway and told him I knew. He asked if I believed anyone else had put it together, and absolutely not. They haven't been there, in the role of the victim, so they couldn't tell. He told me where you were, and some parts of what had happened. Your family is worried to death about you, Berwald. You're actually very fortunate. Those same _bastards_ came after me and got away with it. End the trail here before it's someone _you love._ Don't be like me. You would not be in here if I had found someone to believe me. I apologize for everything you have gone through, and I'm hoping you'll let me help you recover. Your family just wants you to heal, and the first step on the "road to recovery" as some call it, is simply asking someone, _anyone_…to _listen._ Do not be afraid. You will always have_ someone._"

Berwald stared shell-shocked at the man and his confession seeped into the Swedish man's brain. "_Those same bastards_"…he was attacked…by the same…

"I want them locked in cages." The determination was a change. Berwald stared directly at the man in front of him, newfound confidence and strength displayed in his features. Francis laughed and shook his head, "You never seize to amaze me with your kindness, Berwald; I want them locked _in hell._" Berwald gasped, "You, you want them to die? Isn't that…that's not right, Francis. Violence will only lead to more violence which will, in return, get more violence. It has to end somewhere. Be the one to break the cycle. Think about what you would want for your children, for MY child." "_I want children – I want PEOPLE – to understand that those animals need to be put down! They did horrible things to me, to YOU!_" The Swede nodded, grabbing his hand, "I know. Believe me; I don't think I'll forget. But you. You, Francis Bonnefoy, have inspired me. I want to come forward. I want them to all pay for what they did to you, I, and whoever else has suffered at their hands. You gave me the courage, you made me _realize hiding it will only be protecting them._ I don't want that; I don't want this guilt anymore. We can do this, the right way."

"Berwald…you are absolutely right. I'll be right there, fighting with you. We can show everyone what true strength is. Are we in this together?" Francis held out his hand, a small smile adorning his face. And with a straight face but bravery and confidence coursing through his system, Berwald took his newfound ally's hand and shook it.

**In all honesty, I incorporated my opinion of France quite a bit into this chapter. I believe he's actually one of the deeper, darker characters of the show. He isn't just some perv who only cares about sex, he's a man of passion and love. Not just romantic love, either, platonic love. Friendship. He's someone anyone would be blessed to have at their side, and I feel bad for everything he's gone through. So, PLEASE, no more France-is-a-rapist bashing. It's something to never joke about. Well, thanks for reading Everyone! You guys are great! More to come soon!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks to all the wonderful people for the input I've been given and I think I've decided on how this story's going to really play out so let's get this show on the road!**

Lukas, Tino, and Matthias were walking towards Berwald's hospital room when Tino stopped them. They had left Emil at home so he could rest considering he was still just a teenager. He pointed toward the clear door and the two other men stared. Berwald was in there with Francis…and a police officer. The officer was writing something down, Berwald holding France's hand as he spoke. Matthias stared confused, "Is he doing what I think he's doing? Is he telling the cops what happened?" Tino looked over, "You both know what _happened_? Why won't you tell me?" They both simultaneously responded, "We swore." Tino huffed and shook his head while the two turned and faced each other, nodded softly and pulling the door open.

"Can you have visitors?" Matthias asked tenderly, looking around the room. The cop nodded and let the men inside, and they all moved to sit beside their friend. Matthias grabbed his hand and held it, rubbing the top with his thumb. Luke and Tino noted the action but ignored it in favor of supporting their friend. Berwald stared curiously at Matthias but also ignored him and continued on with his conversation with the sergeant. Francis would occasionally put in a comment while Ber gave his statement, but he knew that this was not his investigation. Berwald was the one in control of what happened during this interview and it was better this way.

After two hours of giving his statement, the cop nodded and shook all the men's hands, thanking them for their time and assuring the urgency in the investigation of Berwald's case. Tino stared in revulsion, "Why…why didn't you _tell us?!_ You were _raped?!_ How could you let this happen?!" Francis grabbed the injured man and held him, while Matthias grabbed him and pulled him aside, "Don't blame him, Man!" "I don't 'blame him'! I just…why did he hide it? He should have told us instead of hopping in the shower. He's got an obsession with crime shows and this is how he thinks he should handle his attack? He should have told us…we would have helped him and these guys would be easier to find…" Matthias hugged him tightly and nodded, "I know, I get your thinking and all, but Berwald was terrified. He just wanted for it to be over and gone. But, at least he's coming forward now. We can still help him, and we will sure as hell find the messed up fucks who hurt our bestie." Tino laughed and nodded, and the two walked back over, Tino hugging Berwald and apologizing, swearing to him that it came out wrong and he didn't blame Berwald.

They sat together talking about various things until the nurse walked in and announced that visiting hours had ended and Berwald needed rest. They all turned and he nodded, agreeing that he was tired, so off they all went. Francis told the group that he had errands to run and people to talk to and left, leaving Tino, Lukas, and Matthias in the waiting room. "Hey, Tino, could you do me a favor and go home, make sure Emil's alright? With everything that's happened to Berwald, I'm kind of worried that something might happen to him too." Tino smiled and nodded at Lukas, patting his shoulder and standing, slipping on his coat, and heading towards the door. Luke gave Matt a half-smile and bit back a laugh, "So, uh, since when do you and Berwald hold hands?" Matthias pushed him and rolled his eyes, "Oh god, come on, you held his hand when he was upset! He's family, we're all just here to look out for him." Lukas "mhm hmm"ed him and chucked, making Matthias mad, "I. Am not. Gay."

"Bisexuality is a normal thing, Matthias. Nothing to be ashamed. If you want to get with Berwald it isn't any of _my _business, not meaning I won't get involved." Matthias groaned, "God, you're such a girl. Berwald is my friend. A good friend. Nothing more, Creep." Lukas frowned and kicked him, "At least I'm not Swede-sexual."

"You wanna go, Fairy-watcher?" "I watch fairies, you ARE one!" "Shut the fuck up, short-stack!" "Make me, Creature!" "Elf lord!" "GAYLORD." They proceeded to argue like this for about twenty minutes, making any bystanders laugh, including nurses and doctors. While they were often controlled, collected men, they were also very sassy. They had a comeback for everything and weren't afraid to tell it how it was. This made arguments in the family very interesting with the responses they could and would give.

Finally a nurse informed them that if it carried on, they would be removed from the hospital. They quieted down but would occasionally whisper something along the lines of, "No homo, just kidding, so homo, you faggot." Or "Why don't you call on your fairies and unicorns, Princess? Oh, that's right, you're the only one who can see them, Mentalcase." And knowing it was just cynical humor, they laughed hysterically every time. That was another small thing about Berwald, Lukas, and Matthias, they were so against discrimination and bullying yet they were probably the cruelest, crudest group among all the nations. Nothing was ever censored – unless of course Peter was nearby. Yet, none of their remarks were ever taken to heart. The only exception was that no one was allowed to say "faggot" or "queer" in front of Berwald. If they did, they'd probably walk away with a black eye, even if Berwald is an extreme pacifist.

"Okay, I'm being for real. I do not have a crush on Berwald." Luka nodded, still smiling, "I know man. He's like a brother to you. That would be like me dating Emil – no. Just, no." They both shook hands and Berwald's regular nurse came out, informing them that they could now see Berwald if they desired but he needed to remain asleep for a few hours. Luke told Matthias to head on home, that he would be there shortly. Matt nodded and left, the nurse smiling softly at the shorter blond. She had been watching over the group, finding their familiarity unbelievable. She had always had a knock for reading people and knew that Matthias had no romantic feelings for the man in the hospital bed. It was brotherly, platonic. But, the Norwegian one, the one who mocked the spiky-haired one about Berwald, he was a different story. She couldn't make it out, but it wasn't "brotherly".

The short man entered the hospital room and smiled softly to himself. He grabbed the large man's hand while he was asleep and squeezed, "We're always going to be here for you, Berwald. I'll be here when you wake up. I promise." He kissed his knuckles and dropped it to the bed, walking out. Berwald, having woken up when the door opened, smiled softly and drifted back. He knew he was going to wake up with someone at his side. Who, however, gave him the shock of his life.

**So, who does Berwald wake to? Update coming soon!**


	9. Chapter 9

**So, one of my habits is pointing out my awesome reviewers who manage to inspire me and make me feel just...awesome. So, super shout out to user "NothingICanSay" and her wonderful reviews making me feel like a master of the feels. You're awesome! Read and enjoy!**

Berwald awoke to morning sunlight. He gazed around the room lazily and noted that the Nordics were not in yet. Not shocking, of course, considering they were all deep, heavy sleepers who stay up late and wake late too. He shrugged and laid back, thinking about what had happened last night, trying to keep his mind of the last person to visit him. That was simply something he could not handle at the moment, and he knew that Lukas would understand he needed time to recover. Lukas – and the others – would help him. He turned onto his side and noticed a man in front of him. He jumped, realizing with the skin tone and hair color it was none of the Nordics. No nations he could think of looked relatively close to this either. At least, none that knew who he was.

Berwald grabbed his glasses but the man beside him gripped his hand with hard strength. He groaned and was confused when the voice leaned over him, whispering, "Now now, Berwald. You don't need your glasses to see who this is. You're _never_ going to forget me." Berwald's eyes widened and he began to beat into the other's stomach. He moved and began to scream but something, someone covered his mouth. He struggled but with the wounds and medication he already had, his fight was futile. He was laid on the bed and the figure hovered over him, and Berwald didn't need glasses to tell he was smirking, "I heard you went to the cops, Pretty Boy. My sweet-ass big sister works in this place and told me all about your little talk with the blue blood detective, yeah? How you trying to tell everyone what me and my boys did? Well, you do and you're looking at a lot more hell to pay, and your family's gonna be the first ones on the list. You really wanna put them all through pain, just like you? You want them turned into a bunch of screwed-up basket cases like you are? You go to the cops, and not even that big, bad Danish fag Matthias'll be able to protect you and your petty little 'family'."

The man ran out and Berwald stared forward at the door. He couldn't believe it! How did they find him? How did they _know?!_ Lukas came running in soon after, "Sorry we're late, Emil was being a bitch this morning. And some guy just nearly killed me trying to get out of the elevator – Berwald? Hey, what's the matter?" Berwald couldn't respond; he only opened his arms. Luke seemed to coo, "Hey, it's okay," as he climbed into Berwald's arms, hugging him tight. Berwald began to cry and Luke didn't say a word. The shorter blond rubbed his back softly and rocked them both gently, whispering support and comfort into the Swede's ear. He moved to get comfortable and petted Berwald's hair, accidentally knocking it into the man's face. Luka chuckled as Berwald sneezed due to the tickling sensation on his nose brought on by the hairs. The Norwegian moved away and sat on the corner of the bed, trying to stare Berwald in the face, "Whenever you're ready, you can tell me what happened."

The Swede pulled his knees to his chest and sat there, avoiding Lukas's eyes. Lukas knew Berwald all too well, and he could tell that the Swedish man's mind was spinning with thoughts. He leaned back and shrugged, "Whatever's on your mind, Berwald, I can't read it. So, you're gonna have to physically tell me what's making you think so hard, you know, with your voice. Not that damn thing called a conscience, either. Real words. I've got all day to hear them." Sweden laughed softly and shook his head. That blasted fucker knew exactly what to say to make him feel a little better, damn him. And that, shockingly, was the first thing he said.

"Damn you, Lukas Bondevik. Damn you and your words and your sick sense of humor and your uncanny ability to make me feel ten times better. Damn you. Hope you get anal with a Lego penis." And Lukas, damn him straight to hell, laughed at the sheer craziness of the last statement. He snorted and shook his head, in pure disbelief at Berwald's comment. "What a way to go, I guess. Damn Berwald, I don't know if I'm afraid or anxious. Why Legos, may I ask?" Ber looked up at him and smirked, "You know how much it hurts to step on one. Imagine having a hundred of them shoved up your ass." He cracked up at Lukas's face at the realization, "Oh…lord, thanks for the love, 'friend'." Luke shook his head and faced his friend, grabbing his hand, "Can you tell me why you were upset? I swear to you, I would never judge you. Please, be honest with us so we can help."

Berwald sat in silence for five minutes. Lukas didn't want to pressure him, so he turned on a movie that the two men enjoyed. They watched it for about an hour, their minds drifting through different places. Both men could agree, even as nations, this was probably one of the biggest rollercoasters they've ever had to ride. It was full of ups and downs, but it surely proved the strength of their family's bonds. They held it together through this trauma, so they could hold it through it all. They would send small glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. They only met eyes once, and they turned away awkwardly, trying to keep their cheeks from turning flame red. Finally, after everything had seemed "normal" between them, Berwald made his decision. He was going to come forward about his visitor from Hell.

"That guy was one of my attackers, Lukas, he said that if I decided to take my case any farther, he'd hurt the family. I can't risk that. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I can't let them be arrested." Lukas's face conformed into a look of anger, "No, Berwald Bjorn Oxenstierna, you will come forward. We are a family and as a family, we take care of each other. Do not be afraid for us. Do this _for_ us. This is what we want. Please, for the sake of this crazy, messed up family, protect and take care of yourself and anyone else who has been hurt or may one day be hurt by these bastards. Do it!"

**Does he do it? Does he do Lukas? Duh duh DUHH~! Just kidding. Just kidding I swear. More to come soon! Reviews are always welcome! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay, so I'm gonna tell you now, this chapter has like, nothing to do with the plot. It has a little bit of foreshadowing but other than that, nothing. It's mostly just for stress relief and fun. Enjoy!**

Berwald stared at Lukas, unsure, "You really think so?" Lukas glowered at him with a glare that said 'don't-be-fucking-stupid' and Berwald nodded, looking away, "Okay, fine, I'll do it." The shorter man nodded in pride and wrapped an arm around Ber's shoulders, "You're gonna be great, Berwald. We're all so proud of you and your undeniable strength." Berwald stared at his legs to hide his slight blush, turning pink from the praise and the arm around his shoulders. They both lied back and continued to watch the movie, eventually falling asleep on the bed.

_Flash!_ Lukas groaned and forced himself from his slumber. He groggily whispered, "The fuck was that?" and listened to the fits of mostly-contained laughter from across the room. He managed to open his eyes to Tino, Emil, and Matthias, a camera in the youngest boy's hands. Matthias muttered 'shit' as Lukas growled at them, trying to move to get up but failing. He gazed at the unusual weight on his left arm and bit back a smile as Berwald tried to move closer to the missing heat source. He turned and threw a spare pillow at the boys in the corner, motioning at them frantically to get lost. Tino shook his head and giggled, "What are you gonna do? You think you'll be able to wake _him?_ "Bearwald" Oxenstierna?" Emil chuckled, "He'd probably rip your arm off if you tried!" They all knew that "Bear" was pretty accurate. No one ever wanted to mess with a Berwald-without-much-sleep or a sleeping-Berwald…or a just-woke-up/rough-night-Berwald.

Lukas whined and Matthias laughed harder, "Hey, it seems you tamed the lion, enjoy it! This is a miracle!" The middle finger Luke gave the "idiotic moron" only seemed to light their fire even more…and force them to take more pictures. Three more flashes went off before they heard the largest man groan and hide his face. "Now look what you all have done." Lukas called exasperated, trying to make them leave him and Berwald alone, so he could wake him up, of course. Lukas kept telling himself that he didn't just have the best sleep in centuries for a reason.

Finally, a nurse walked in and stared at the calamity occurring in the room. She laughed and shook her head, her black ponytail waving behind her. The Norwegian stared at her for a moment, curiosity in his eyes. She looked familiar, but he couldn't seem to place a finger on it. He shrugged it off, literately apparently. He snapped out of his train of thought when he lost the weight on his arm and heard a loud thump, followed by groaning and vulgarities. Luke cursed himself as he moved - him and Matthias helping him up. Berwald stared evilly at everyone in his room, but they simply laughed. His hair was beyond messy and it was obvious he had _just_ woken up. Emil took another picture but quickly put it away when Berwald's face morphed from confusion to anger.

"Wh't the f'ck?" He grumbled sleepily, yawning and stretching his arms. He gazed at everyone and then moved to Matthias, "I blame you." Lukas, rather uncharacteristically, snorted at the Dane's luck. It seemed every Nordic turned to him when something bad happened around the house, and things certainly haven't changed. Matthias scowled and shook his head, "I didn't do anything. I was a bystander, I'll have you know. I wasn't the one sleeping in your bed, **I wasn't the one with the camera!**" He turned to Emil and stuck his tongue out, the youngest boy frowning, "No fair! You TOLD ME TO! You GAVE ME the camera!" Tino was almost rolling on the floor; he was laughing so hard. Moments like this truly made him realize why he loved this family so much.

Berwald, still angry someone woke up from a great nap, smacked Matthias on the back of the head and took the camera from Emil. Lukas chuckled as Berwald then threw himself back onto the bed, presumably continuing his sleep. The nurse, watching the boys interact, handed Matthias a clipboard, "If you'd just fill these out, he can go home." The Nordics cheered, well, Berwald slept, but the other four were excited. They grabbed Berwald's things and began to pack them while Matthias completed the paperwork, claiming he was the caretaker of their little family. Once that was completed and Matthias gave the desk clerk the finished papers, they turned to their still slumbering friend, "So, who wants to wake him?"

They sat around and talked for a few minutes, arguing softly over who should try to wake Berwald. To many, that seems like a strange topic, but they had to do it practically every time they had an early morning meeting. They would simply give the man an alarm clock but after he threw the last one down the stairs, they decided it was better not to waste their money.

"I woke him last time." Emil pointed out stepping away from their little circle. Tino laughed, "Yeah, and I woke you this morning. Trust me, not an easy feat." The boys took Berwald's things to the car and left Matthias and Lukas alone. "Norge, you seemed so close to him when we walked in, and he thinks I'm the one who woke him up. You do it." Lukas shook his head, "No way! And don't make what you saw this morning sound so…weird. We fell asleep watching a movie last night. Trust me, we weren't in _that_ position when we drifted off." Matthias shook his head, "Okay, okay fine, I'll just…" Matthias stood, sauntering around the room, "Drop it." And then, he ran out the door. Lukas glared at him as he ran off, vowing to get his revenge. He turned to look at his sleeping friend and shook his head, "If you act like a primadonna bitch, I swear I'll make you need to stay here for another day."

"Ber, get up." He shook the man's shoulder to no avail. Ber was in a deep sleep; it was going to suck trying to get him out of bed. "Ber, hey, ABBA's back in business. They want you to go on tour with them." Nothing, "Jensen Ackles has never done gay BDSM and wants to try it with you sometime." Still no reaction. Things were going to be harder than Lukas hoped. "Doctor Who is being cancelled." Without a reaction to that one, Lukas knew this wasn't going to work. He would have to try something new. Like aggression.

"Berwald, get your girly little ass out of bed or I swear, I'll hack into your computer and put random gay porn into any presentations you have to give for the rest of our lives." NOTHING! Lukas turned and noticed the pillow he had thrown at the others sitting against the wall. Well, he was going to die from it, but oh well.

"GET THE FUCK UP PRINCESS." Berwald woke up and screamed as Lukas yelled at him, hitting him with the pillow. Well, it worked.\

**Sorry if characters seemed a bit OOC, but I wanted to look more into their humanity and their bonds as a family rather than nations. I wanted fun and silliness for a bit to lighten everything up a bit. But, the next chapter shall, of course, get back on track. And, in case you don't know, Jensen Ackles is the extremely attractive star of "Supernatural". ABBA is a Swedish-based disco-dance band that I can almost promise you APH Sweden loves. Sorry if the end seemed a bit...weird, but have you ever tried to wake up a hardcore sleeper? Well, it's a trip. Sometimes, you've got to do stuff like encourage BDSM with straight actors or lie about the cancellation of someone's favorite show. Or, you know, threaten gay porn in professional work documents. Whatever. Hope you enjoyed and keep reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Yo! Sorry I haven't updated in the last few days, it's been a really crazy week! But I'm going to get back on track with this! Enjoy my new "Cleanse" installment~!**

Matthias, Tino, and Emil sat impatiently at the car, wondering why the duo was taking so long. Or, at least, Tino and Emil were. Matthias was simply wondering if it were illegal to do it with a patient in a hospital because he didn't want to pay Lukas's bail if it was. When Berwald and Lukas approached, they all began to laugh. Berwald looked highly unamused while Lukas continued to nurse his bruised arm, staring at the ground. Tino hugged Berwald while Emil checked out Luka's arm, "So, uh…what happened exactly?" Lukas shrugged as they climbed into the car, "I woke him up."

They began to drive, no one questioning Lukas's answer. They knew Berwald all too well, and he did not like to be disturbed during his slumber. Matthias was driving, Emil riding shotgun, and Lukas and Berwald by the windows in the back with Tino between them. Due to his medication and recent awakening, Berwald had trouble remaining awake throughout the car ride. He kept drifting, head falling onto Tino's lap. Tino, not wanting to disturb him any more than he already has been, began running his fingers through the Swede's soft, silky hair. The tall man sighed contently and nuzzled himself into Tin's thighs. Luke's eyes drifted over slyly, squinting as he saw the affectionate touch. He refused, of course, to acknowledge why this angered him, only that it **did** anger him. He gazed down to the Finnish man's lap and smiled slightly, subconsciously reaching over and ruffling Berwald's locks. He wanted to reach down and kiss Berwald's forehead, but he knew he couldn't with the others around.

Tino pulled his hand away and turned, staring at Lukas with a slight gleam in his eyes. He nodded towards Berwald and smiled, mouthing 'Go on'. Luke's eyes bounced between Berwald, Tino, and the two in the front seat, a questioning look shining in the two blue-purple hues. He, swallowing faintly, slipped his hand into Berwald's hair and chuckled almost inaudibly as Berwald wiggled, moving toward the fingers touching his head. Tino heard his small laugh and giggled as well, rubbing Berwald's side. Berwald sighed once again and the two laughed, Matthias looking in the rear view mirror and smiling proudly at his family.

Everything was going wonderfully…until Berwald made another noise. He whimpered and Matthias nearly stopped the car, "Is he okay? He's not in pain, is he?" Emil turned and stared at Tino and Lukas, Luke's eyes shining with worry. Tino rubbed his back and neck until he turned silent again. They nodded slightly, shrugging. Berwald made another noise, making Matthias pull the car to the side of the road. Emil bit his lip as he unbuckled, turning around in his seat and looking at Berwald, "What if he's hurt? What if he messed up his stiches again?" Norge shook his head, motioning for him to be quiet and calm down. Matthias reached out and rubbed his temples, hoping he was alright. That is, until he began to scream.

He flailed and screamed loudly, making the other boys jump in shock. Tino grabbed his hands and held them while Lukas unbuckled and moved onto the floor, touching his face, "Berwald, come on. Wake up – it's just a dream. You're okay, shh~" Berwald got quiet and gripped the hand on his cheek, crying silently. Luke motioned for Tino to scoot to where he had just been sitting, the man nodding and moving out of the way, helping hold Berwald so he didn't fall. Luke slipped into the middle seat, resting Berwald against him. He rocked him softly, telling him that he was safe now. He flinched and whimpered, Luke keeping his hold tight. The last thing any of them wanted was to have to take Berwald back to the hospital for upsetting one of his wounds. Emil turned back and grabbed Luka's hand, rubbing the top of it with his thumb. The older sibling smiled and nodded, tightening his grip on his little brother's palm.

Berwald got quiet and Matt opened his door, "Hey, Tino, you drive. I'm gonna move back there and keep an eye on Ber." "Matthias, he's alright. We've got our hold on him. You just get us home so we can get him back into bed. He'll be fine." The boys buckled back in, Matthias still staring back unsurely as he slipped the seat belt on. Luke kicked his seat to "encourage" him to continue driving, keeping the hair out of Berwald's face by running his fingers across his cheek. He bent over and kissed Berwald's cheek, not caring that they see his affectionate, sweet side for once. Well, he didn't care BEFORE they started in on him. "Aww~ Norgy's got a crush on Sve~!" Matthias exclaimed from the front seat, yelping in pain as he was kicked brutally in the back.

"I do **not** have a crush on Berwald. He just needs some love right now. I'd do it for…well, most of you in a heartbeat. Matthias….you'll survive." "Oh, you wound me Baby." "It's all tough love, Sugar." Tino and Emil laughed happily at the talk between the other two, snorting and leaning over at Lukas calling someone "Sugar". Berwald, having woke up to all the touching on his face, listened to their conversation, stiffening slightly at the "flirting" between the two. He became saddened, almost wounded, as he decided that Lukas simply couldn't like him. That he was just being silly thinking Lukas would ever see him in that light. He opted to close his eyes and go back to sleep, not realizing he wouldn't wake up for a long while.

_A young woman stared with a small smile on her face as a car full of boys drove past her while she gazed over at her children frolicking on the playground. The sidewalk around her was not very crowded and she smiled as her youngest, her four-year-old boy, ran up and gripped her legs, laughing. She chuckled too but fell from an unknown force. She grabbed her child and held him tight, turning around to face the scene. She covered his eyes and held him close as she stared in horror. That car that had just drove by, the one with the five boys, was now engulfed in flames._

**UH OH. Where am I going with this? I don't even know. JUST KIDDING YES I DO! *evil laughter* These kids just can't catch a break, can they?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, next chapter. Hetalia isn't mine and neither are the Nordics and if they were, I don't think I would let this happen. Sorry Boys, I send my love.**

Emil dragged himself from the burning car, hissing and groaning in pain. An EMT rushed over to him and grabbed his arm, but Emil ignored him. He pushed himself onto his own two feet and looked around, tears brimming in his eyes. The car was…gone. He was terrified. He heard someone call to him, someone who sounded like home. He turned and ran to whoever it was, crying and screaming. He didn't even know who exactly was holding him at first, but he recognized the build and height. Matthias held him as tight as he could without injuring him and shushed him, rocking him and crying too. They knew it was no accident, that now, the people who had hurt Berwald were out to silence him…for good.

Tino had been pulled from the frame, barely conscious. He screamed as he saw Emil and Matthias crying by the ambulance, but the EMTs were already loading him onto a stretcher. Matthias picked up Emil, knowing he was in severe shock, and ran to Tino's side, gripping his friend's hand and using his other one to steady the boy wrapped around his body. Tino rubbed at Emil's back, hearing him sob, but soon began to feel lightheaded and nauseous. The paramedics loaded him into the ambulance, asking if they wanted to come along. Matthias demanded they keep Tino here with them until Berwald and Lukas were rescued, and the medic reluctantly agreed. She could tell the men had been through a lot already and were never going to leave anyone behind.

They saw Berwald being risen from the totaled car, unconscious and bleeding. They heard the medics yelling and shouting, saying to get ready. They were going to fly him to the hospital, worried highly about his health. Emil was silent and shaking, the shock still strong, and Matthias sat him on the back of the ambulance, petting his hair and telling him to stay with Tino. Matthias ran as fast as he could, pushing emergency personnel out of his way, ignoring the stinging pain in his bleeding leg. He howled as he grabbed for Berwald, pulling him close and holding him. He began chanting softly, "Come on, please. Don't die on me. Please. Please don't leave us. Not yet, Ber. Come on, please…" An EMT grabbed him and pulled him off, warning him not to touch him again so that he wouldn't upset Berwald's injuries. Matt fell to his knees and sobbed, screaming out, "Please, God, I know I ain't a big follower, none of the family is. But these guys…are all I've got. I love my family, don't TAKE THEM! I'm sorry if I did something wrong, I'll fix it. I'm not a very good protector, a sibling. But I'll get better, I swear, don't take my baby brothers! I'm sorry, so so sorry!"

A police officer pulled him up and toke him over to the ambulance, setting him beside Emil and telling him that everything was going to be alright. Emil pulled him in and held him, listening to Matthias cry, probably the rarest thing to see in their group. Matthias made himself be strong, stronger than most anyone. He refused to ever cry in front of anyone; he'd always leave the room if he felt tears coming. Berwald and Lukas even cried more than he did (heck, Berwald cried more than anyone in the group). Also, he had never seen Matthias, in any way, shape, or form, pray. Matthias wasn't a devout follower of any religion if you don't include the Viking days where he worshipped the Nordic Pagan gods. Berwald, Matthias, and Lukas no longer showed any belief in those Gods, but Emil was still a firm follower. Tino wasn't very religious but he did attend church every now and then, they all did, actually. Matthias hated it and so did Berwald. Lukas didn't seem to care; he was a deist. Matthias was probably also a deist, Tino too. However, Berwald was, although he never would admit it to anyone, an atheist. Maybe, even a Satanist. He hates going to church and he refuses to ever read the Bible, swearing there's nothing "worth knowing" in there. At first, this caused some tension, but they eventually grew used to it and merely tease him from time to time, leaving prayer cards on his car or sending a Jehovah's Witness-type to the house for him. Once, they even signed him up to become a Jehovah's Witness and eventually he filed an order banning any religious mail to come to him at work or at home. He got sick of receiving Bibles and conversation ideas in the mail, one could guess.

But, Emil did not blame him for being so open with his plea to God. He was actually a bit proud, knowing that Matthias would only do that if he truly, purely loved his family. He gave the tall blond a tight hug and smiled, coughing as ash and dust fell from his hair into his face. Matthias ruffled it, wiping away the dirt, and nodded, "He's gonna be alright. Berwald's gonna be fine; I just know it. If he is, so help me, we are going to…praise some Jesus. I'm not kidding. I'll even lead a prayer. That Swedish homosexual atheist ABBA-dancing bass-dropping-voiced glasses-wearing girly-dog-raising man is going to be fine…again." Emil laughed at the description and Tino even gave a small giggle, sitting up and moving out of the stretcher. Matthias shook his head and began scolding him, but of course Tino ignored it. He sat down on the Dane's other side and held his hand, "Of course he is. He's never given up on anything."

They sighed and watched the helicopter take off with Berwald inside, each of them holding each other's hands. They were silent, until they heard the officer shout, "Hold on, we've got a fifth one!" Lukas rose from the rubble of broken glass and bent metal, dazed and scared, "Berwald! Matthias! Baby Brother! Tino! GUYS!?" Matthias bolted off, Lukas screaming as he saw the Dane, for once unbelievably happy to see the crazy, beer-chugging idiot. He threw himself into Matthias, making the man stumble back but held him tight. Lukas bawled into Matthias's shoulder, "He's dead, isn't he?"

"Berwald is dead, ISN'T HE?"

**So this chapter was probably actually the hardest one for me to write. Not because of lack of motivation or anything (although I am lazy with updating sometimes) but rather, the image. How vulnerable they must feel just...gets to me. You can just tell how much they love each other and how far they're willing to go for their family. My poor babies :'O So, next chapter soon, I promise. Keep reviewing if you like it. Any ideas you'd like to share? A specific chapter you just LOVE? Tell me in a review! I love to hear this stuff and I may most likely respond, thanking you. You know, unless you're a douche. Then I'll report you. ANYWAY, thanks so much for reading! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Well, nothing to really say here, except be ready for emotions and plot twists.**

"I don't know, Luka. I don't honestly know. They just flew him out of here. Now, come on, you need some help." Matthias helped Lukas over to the ambulance, and told the waiting EMTs they could head to the hospital. That's when Emil noticed the gash. Blood was practically gushing from the back of Matthias's leg, making Emil grab the EMT, "His leg…it looks bad…" The medic looked down and nodded, maneuvering toward the Dane. He looked toward his hurt leg and shrugged, "I'm fine, didn't even notice." The paramedic motioned for the four to climb into the back of the vehicle, jumping back as Lukas fell against the door. Matt grabbed him and hoisted him up, setting him on the stretcher, "He was the last one out. He's probably burnt and hurt and in shock. His…uh…partner was the one air-lifted to the hospital." She sighed and nodded, "I'll do everything I can to help these boys, and the one already taken. I swear to you." Emil thanked her and moved Matthias inside, setting him on the small bench on the side of the car. He groaned and pulled the youngest down beside him, hugging him, "Kiddo, I'm proud of you."

"Why? I've just sat here, being scared and helpless. I feel like you should be disappointed in me. You were hurt worse than I was and you were out there, helping and saving Lukas and Berwald." Matthias smacked him on the back of the head and pointed at him, "Emil Steisson! I was out there because I'm the oldest and it's my god damn job. You are the youngest, you're currently in a state of severe shock, and yet, you're strong for everyone here. I'm not doing that. You're helping us by simply trying to be there for us all, and you're also proving how unbelievably strong and free willed you are. Don't be so hard on yourself." Emil grimaced, grabbing the back of his head, "Alright, but did you have to hit me?" Matthias laughed softly and hugged him, "Yeah, yeah I think I did."

Tino woke up when the ambulance began driving, grabbing his head and moaning in pain. The EMT laid him back down when he tried to sit up and informed him to stay still. Emil reached over and grabbed his hand, telling him that they were all here…well, except for Ber. He looked around and saw Luke practically unconscious on the bench and flailed his hands, "Go, go help him. I'm alright, I swear. He needs it." She turned around and noticed the Norwegian was rather faint and moved to his side, checking his pulse. "It's a bit weak, but he's going to be fine. Can I get one of you over here with him? Keep him awake no matter what. I can almost promise you he has a concussion." Emil hobbled over to him, shaking his shoulder, "I'll saw **it** if you can stay awake this entire ride." One eye opened and he smirked, "How much will you say it?" "For an entire week, if that's what it takes." Lukas nodded and sat up, grabbing his little brother and pulling him close, "You sure know how to bribe a guy. I'm gonna try for you."

Luke eyed Matthias sitting on the bench, "You aren't hurt? I figured you and Emil would get the blunt of it." The medic turned around, "Can I tell you boys something about the investigation?" They all nodded and stared at her intently, "Well, the cops say that the bomb was actually placed underneath the back seat, passenger side. This implies that they had a specific target." Emil cursed, "Son of a bitch." And Luke swatted his wrist, shaking his head, "Don't think about it." "They knew that Berwald was going to be back there. They did it on purpose. They want Berwald to suffer. That _gaurinn*_ who hurt Berwald, he did this." Matthias shushed him, nodding, "We know, Kid. We're gonna find the _sataner* _who did this and stop them. I swear to you all. I swore to Berwald." They got silent and the woman stared in shock, "May I ask, why someone is out to hurt you all?"

"Our friend Berwald, the one air lifted to the hospital, was gang raped about a week ago. They really did a number on him. He was coming forward to the police and his attackers found out. They threatened him but we convinced him not to listen. Now, they're trying to shut him up. It's not gonna happen. We're not gonna let those motherfuckers get away with it. We won't." The medic processed this, gasping softly, "That's horrible. I'm so sorry about what you boys have been through. You're all so young; I can't believe someone would do this." The nations all giggled softly under their breath, mumbling about how "young" is not the word they would use. She either shrugged it off or ignored it, commenting, "Well, I think whoever did this should be punished. I agree. Don't let your friend back out now." Luke nodded, "Trust me, I won't let him."

They finally pulled up to the hospital's emergency area and stumbled out, helping each other. The doctors began to rush over, checking each of them out. Matthias was going to need stitches on his leg, three ribs were fractured from hitting the steering wheel, and glass shards from the windshield. Two of Tino's ribs were broken and his wrist was fractured, not to mention the concussion. Lukas was having hearing trouble, there was ash and smoke in his lungs, there was a crack in his collarbone, burns, and a concussion. Emil was suffering from the aftermath of his shock, slight whiplash, glass shrapnel in his shoulders and back, and serious bruising on his ribs and stomach from hitting the dashboard of the car. They hadn't received any word on Berwald yet, but they were sure to ask for it right away. All they knew was that he was in surgery. They were taking to a room, the doctors asking if they all wanted one room together. They said yes, and so now they sat anxiously on the beds while waiting for news on Berwald. Nurses and doctors came in, caring for their wounds. In total, it took a little over two hours for the medics to finish.

Once the repairs were completed, the doctor told them that they could wait outside for news on Berwald. To them, it was like a frightening sense of déjà vu, waiting fearfully for any kind of news on his state. They sat down together and stayed close, noticing the paramedic from their ambulance ride approach them. Matthias spoke up, "We just want to…uh, thank you for helping us out. We've had a rough couple weeks." The medic nodded, "Well, I'm just glad to see you all turned out alright. Fear not, I'm sure the fifth one will be fine just like you all are." They smiled gratefully, feeling a bit of weight lifted of their shoulders. They heard someone shout, "Hey, Sis!" and she turned, smiling as her younger brother ran over. He had short black hair and tan skin and seemed rather upset. He hugged her, "I heard about the explosion case, are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?" She laughed and shook her head and pointed to the four, "Eren, these boys were four of the victims. Boys, this is my little brother, Eren Hinston."

Lukas suddenly began remembering, _"What the fuck, Man? Calm down, there's plenty of room for you in the elevator." "Just hurry up and get off! Get out of my way!" _He stood, stared directly at him for a few moments, and then flipped the coffee table in front of him, shattering the glass inside, his screaming echoing through the entire wing of the hospital, "_YOU RAPIST SON OF A BITCH!_"

**What? What? Everyone thought the nurse from Berwald's rape was involved? Nah. Too predictable. So here, have fun with this one. I'm so ready to write a Norwegian breakdown with just a tinge of violence. Go Lukas!**

**Oh, and guarinn means "Bastard" in Icelandic and Sataner means "sons of bitches" in Danish.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I feel on a roll with this story, Man. I may even get ANOTHER update in in the next like 6 hours. Read and Enjoy!**

"A couple of days after Berwald was checked in, this bastard came into his room while he was sleeping. He tried AND FAILED to scare Berwald into not pressing charges or having him and his gang arrested! I swear to you! He practically pushed me out of the elevator that day, and when I went in to visit Ber, he was petrified. That's him, Matthias! He raped Berwald!" The medic grabbed her sibling's arm, "What did you do, Eren?!" He laughed, "That's a load of garbage and they can't prove any of it." Lukas screamed again and tried to lung at him, but Matthias tightened his grip, "Enough! _Emil, gå få politiet udefra og bringe dem i her for at få det svin._" Emil nodded discreetly and ran outside. "What, what did you tell him?" Lukas smirked, knowing exactly what Matthias had said, "Wait and see." Soon enough, Emil approached with two police officers, "There he is, the man who raped our friend and blew up our car." The police approached and Eren darted off, making the officers chase after him. The woman stared, "You sent the police after him? He…he says he didn't do it! My brother has done some bad things with his life but he'd never…" Lukas stared at her, "I can prove he went into Berwald's hospital room, and I can get what he said too. Berwald is willing to testify."

She sat down on the couch and put her head in her hands, crying softly. Matthias and Lukas approached her gingerly, sitting down beside her and rubbing her back. "No one blames you, Miss…?" "My name's Dalia. I just…I can't believe this. I'll be honest, my brother's been in a rough place and hangs out with some bad people, but I _never_ thought he would do something so…horrible." She cried softly and Matthias swallowed, "Erm, Dalia? Your brother mentioned the explosion, but how would he know? It hadn't hit the news yet and they wouldn't have called your family unless you were hurt, would they?" She shook her head and he sighed, "So, he knew from another source." "Yeah, he did it."

Matthias smacked Lukas in the shoulder, signaling for him to be quiet. "Dalia, this isn't your fault, I hope you know that. Your brother did some horrible things but they had nothing to do with you. I'm terribly sorry you have to go through this too." She shook her head, "I'm not the one with a suffering family. My brother did some horrible things and I do believe you. I believe he did do it. But I don't believe it's his fault." She stood as a doctor walked out and told her to get back to work. Matthias and Lukas tried to protest but she silenced them, "No, he's right. You let me know how your friend turns out, okay? And tell him…I'm so sorry for what my brother did to him." She began to walk off and Lukas stared at the ground,

"I'm, uh, sorry about losing my temper. That wasn't like me but I mean, we don't know if Berwald's going to live. This guy and his friends tried to kill my family. I'm so sick of Berwald having to suffer. I want this to go away, for his sake. I don't think he can take any more. What if he can't? What if we lose him, Matthias? What if he gives up on us?" Emil, pressure, shock, and emotions getting to his head, began to cry. Lukas stood and moved over to him, pulling him close and hugging him tight, "Shh, we're okay. I promise, we're gonna be alright, Emil. I swear, we're going to be alright in the end." Emil gazed up at his older brother, "How do you know?"

"Because…well, you know what, I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen today, or tomorrow, or the next day. I'm not a psychic; I can't see the future. But, I'm not gonna give up. I want to think it's going to be okay and then do everything I can to prove myself right. I know some things, though. I know Berwald is strong – stronger than many. He's been through hell but he has a family waiting for him here. I know he won't give up without a fight, and I know he'll need us to be supportive. I also know, that my family is just…incredible. Most families wouldn't have been able to survive this like we have; they'd have struggles and probably surrender. But us Viking-blooded Scandinavians are hard-headed, aren't we?" Matthias laughed and nodded, "**Very** hard-headed." Tino nodded, "We're gonna be okay as long as we still have this family."

Emil nodded and Matthias cooed, "Aww~ I WANT A HUG TOO!" Lukas grunted as the idiot jumped on top of him, hugging him and Emil tight. The both groaned and tried to squirm out, but it was no use. Tino wiggled over and hugged them all, and they soon began to laugh. They weren't sure about what, but they needed it. "So, Emil, do you feel a little better?" The Icelander nodded, "I actually feel quite a bit better. Thank you…Big Brother." Lukas gasped dramatically and covered his mouth, Matthias and Tino shouting, "HE SAID THE B WORDS!" They cheered and Emil rolled his eyes, pushing Lukas away as he went to hug him, "No."

"Say it again!" "NO." "One more time." "Fucking Big Brother I swear…" Matt laughed and Emil tried to run away, swerving through tables and chairs, Lukas right behind him. They laughed and began to wrestle in the middle of the room, making any bystanders laugh. But the laughter was short-lived, just as it always seemed to be recently.

A doctor walked out of the corridor, "Erm, Berwald Oxenstierna?" They gazed up and stared, jumping off the floor and walking over, "Is he okay?" The doctor sighed in a melancholic tone and stared at the charts in his hands, "Well, he's certainly been better. Burns, contusions, broken ribs, bleeding in his brain, and a pretty serious back injury…he's going to be in a wheelchair in a while…if he leaves the hospital at all." The four swallowed nervously and finally, Matthias called on the courage to ask, "Will…will he live?" The doctor bit back any emotion, "He's in critical condition; I can't promise he'll make it through this." "W-what are his chances?" Emil questioned, trying not to cry again. They didn't want to imagine life without him.

"Of survival at all? About sixty percent. However, for him to make a full recovery…there's only about a twenty percent chance." Lukas yelled, "What do you mean, he won't most likely make a "full" recovery?! What's going to be wrong with him if he doesn't?!" Matthias grabbed Lukas and hugged him, "Hey, calm down. I'm sure they're doing everything they can. Ber's strong; he'll get through."

"Well, strong is definitely a word I'd use. But, he'll most likely have spotted memory, trouble with sight and/or hearing, seizures, trouble with muscle function, back trouble, trouble walking, speech problems…" Tino began to shake, "That's what's **most likely** gonna happen?! Can't you fix it?!"

"I'm afraid we've done everything we can for now. We'll see how he holds through the night. You all should go home, get some rest. He probably won't wake up for a little while." And then, he left them alone.

**So, gå få politiet udefra og bringe dem i her for at få det svin means "Go get the cops from outside and bring them in here to get this bastard". Matthias knows what's up. Anyway, follow, review, favorite, whatever! Let's see what happens when the boys go home without Berwald, next chapter!**


	15. Chapter 15

**OH MY GOD READERS I AM SO SORRY! I've really tried to work on this but I suffered a serious case of writer's block! But, I will do everything in my power to get this story rolling again! Again, SO SORRY! **

Matthias was enlisted to drive them home after the doctor informing them about Berwald's status. The car ride was silent and tense, making the younger two men uncomfortable. Emil would try to talk to his brother, receiving only grunts and nods in return. Eventually, he gave up and closed his eyes, feeling that once home, he would not be getting much sleep. And, he was unfortunately right.

Once through the door, Hell broke loose. Lukas and Matthias, angry and upset, took it out on each other. Matthias growled, "We wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't thrown a temper tantrum about Berwald going to the cops!" "Oh okay, and Berwald would be miserable and afraid for all eternity and he'd never feel safe again. Plus, that was actually BERWALD'S decision! I just told him the truth!" "Well, I'd rather have him a little afraid than DEAD!" Their argument went on for about half an hour before Matthias threw the first punch. The tackled each other and Emil and Tino managed to separate them before it got really bad. They stared, nearly snarling at each other before Tino busted in, "LOOK! We are all angry, tired, and in a lot of pain! Taking it out on each other like this won't make _any of us_ feel better. This is a moment where we need to come together, not push each other away." They both stared at the ground guiltily, Lukas speaking first, "What if he can't get through this? What if he decides he can't do it? What if he doesn't make it through the night? What if…"

Matthias grabbed his shoulders, "Shut up, Lukas! He's not gonna give up; he's gonna wake up and show us AGAIN how strong he is! And imagine how happy and relieved he's going to be when he hears that we caught the main guy who hurt him. He's gonna see that there's nothing stopping him. Stop being a pessimist!" Lukas pushed him away, "Do you think you'd be able to do it? I don't want to be all disappointed because I know that it is going to be hard as hell for him to recover from this! Let's face facts, Guys, Berwald's never going to be the same." They all nodded and Emil moved over to Luke, hugging him, "We're just gonna support him no matter what. Just like he would for us."

They all smiled and Matthias opened a cabinet on the wall, "You guys wanna watch a movie? Right now, I feel like we kind of need some quiet, family time." "You?! Quiet?! Somebody check him for a fever!" Tino and Lukas laughed at Emil's exclamation and threw themselves on the couch and loveseat, "Okay, what movie?" "Avengers!" "Last Vegas." "The Lion King." "The Grudge." Tino squinted at Matthias's horror movie suggestion, "_NO._" Meanwhile, Lukas snorted, "You…want to watch the Avengers…again?! Does this family ever _not_ want to watch that movie?!" Tino, Matthias, and Emil groaned out "nooo" and they laughed. Matthias pulled out a movie, "Okay, Last Vegas it is; I need a comedy and Tino hasn't seen it yet." Emil shook his head, "It's a crazy ass movie, Finn. Be ready." Tino stared at him questioningly but Lukas nodded, "But it's funny as hell!" The brothers both nodded in agreement and Matthias agreed, making Tino shrug, "Alright, let's watch it." Lukas went and grabbed junk food while Matthias got them drinks, and then they all curled up on the couch, wrapping up in blankets and eating while the movie played.

"…What the hell was that?!" Tino snorted as the credits rolled, grabbing his side in a hunched position. Matthias shook his head, still laughing, "That, Dude, was 'Last Vegas'." Lukas "mhm-hmm"ed in agreement, chuckling softly while smacking Emil who was laughing hysterically, "That movie is just…gold." They sat together in silence for a few moments before the phone rang. Tino picked up, "Hello?" He hummed in agreement before his face fell, "Th-thanks for notifing us. We'll be there first thing in the morning." He listened for another moment before hanging up and hanging his head, "Berwald was taken back into surgery about half an hour ago. He had a wound on his diaphragm and upset it when he had a seizure." The atmosphere turned sullen as the four sat in silence, the only sound was Emil's muffled sobbing as he cried into Lukas's shoulder. Luke rubbed his back tenderly, brushing the hair out of his face. Matthias stood and moved into another room, returning with blankets, "I'm under the assumption that none of us really want to go to our rooms alone."

Lukas, Tino, Emil, and Matthias curled up on their large couch, comforting each other in silence. They fell asleep like this, curled into each other and crying softly. Never had they been so worried about their friend and whether or not he was really strong enough to survive this.

Never had they been so afraid to lose the single member of their family that kept them truly together.

**Oh my god this chapter was shorter than I wanted. So sorry if it's OOC and weird I just couldn't think of anything! But! I am back on track; I know where I plan to go from here! Keep reading! **


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay guys this chapter was a better one for me! So, warnings for self harm and suicidal thoughts. Fear not, though. Everything will (probably) turn out alright in the end. Next chapter, Berwald's story line should be brought back. I'm ready. Read and enjoy!**

Lukas was the first to wake in the morning, yawning and grabbing his phone to check the time. He squinted, the clock reading 6: 41. He groaned, stretching his slightly gangly limbs, and he moved off the couch all while trying to be quiet as to not wake the others. They all had a rough night, worried sick about the fifth member of their family. Emil had a nightmare around one AM, awakening them all to his screams and shaking. They got him calmed down, and in the end, Emil ended up asleep on Matthias's lap, both snoring and sighing softly in their slumber.

Lukas crept toward the kitchen, setting out ingredients for breakfast. Large omelets with cheese, seasoned ham, and tomatoes? Hell yeah! Sweet bread biscuits with homemade jam? Always game! Apples sliced, drizzled in caramel and chocolate, and then topped with whipped cream? An obvious addition to this marvelous meal. Lukas got to work, engulfed in the aromas and work when Tino awoke and walked in. He smiled, listening to Lukas hum to himself while he danced around the kitchen, busying himself with the preparations. Lukas swung around to the cabinets on the wall when he noticed the Finn standing in the doorway, giggling softly, "Beautiful performance, Master Chef. Need some help?" Lukas shrugged, "I got it, do me a favor and call the hospital. Make sure Ber's okay now." Tino smiled softly and nodded, heading upstairs. Luke kept on with his work, dicing tomatoes and slicing apples when he heard Matthias groan, knowing the man had just woken up.

"Yo Man, Whatcha up to?" Matthias stared at the pots and pans baking in the oven and cooking on the stove. He smiled and hugged him tightly, "Dude, making us a big breakfast, if you're trying to come out as bi…we already know." Lukas shook his head, "I was hungry, figured you guys were too, and I thought we could use a nice, family meal." Matt nodded, grabbing an apple from the cutting board and hopping away, Luke smacking at him and growling when he ran off. Emil shuffled his way in, yawning and stretching sleepily, "Big Brother, what're doin'." Lukas chuckled at his lack of proper English, knowing that often when the five were tired, their accents grew thick and they lost their ability to speak with proper English. It was actually rather entertaining whenever someone outside the Nordic 5 heard them speak early in the morning.

Emil sat on the counter beside his brother, watching him drizzle chocolate and caramel over a plate of sliced apple pieces, "Goin' all out, huh?" Luke shrugged, "Do one nice thing for this family and everyone's on my case, god." The Icelander chuckled and Lukas hollered upstairs, "SEVEN MINUTES YOU BETTER BE AT THE TABLE OR YOU CAN STARVE." Lukas laughed at the sound of Tino hurriedly hanging up the phone and the sound of the two boys stampeding down the stairs, "Coming!" Matthias rode in on the banister, jumping off at the end of his slide and 'swoosh'ing into the kitchen, "Food time!" The Norwegian stared at the two men, "You know my rules; _you know Berwald's rules._ Wash your hands, who's turn is it to set the table?" Matthias stared at the floor and muttered, making Lukas squint, "Louder, Mister Kohler!" Matthias shook his head, "Berwald's. It was Berwald's turn." Things got quiet except for the sizzling of the ham and tomatoes in the skillet.

"Well, you guys wash up. I'll take care of it. Get!" Matthias saluted and ran toward the stairs again, Emil and Tino following behind. Lukas set out napkins, forks, and finally knives. He sat each blade at a chair, realizing he had grabbed an extra knife. He stared at his reflection in it for a moment, gazing around to make sure they hadn't snuck in yet. Lukas swallowed nervously, shaking his head and sticking the small knife back in the drawer. He slammed it shut and took a deep breath, moving toward the skillet and pouring its contents into the omelets. He set the plates and made his decision. He pulled the drawer open quickly and the blade reemerged in his hands. He snuck into the downstairs bathroom, shutting and locking the door. He grabbed bandages from the cabinet and then a hoodie from the hamper, noting the fact that it was Berwald's, which only set his decision in stone. He slid the blood across the skin of his wrist, biting his lip as the blood dripped into the sink. He repeated the motion, switching in between arms, until he began to feel lightheaded. As he pulled at the knobs of the sink, he washed away any blood flow and bandaged them, still high on the rush and blood loss. He pulled on the sweatshirt, breathing in the scent of pine and his personal cologne mixture and old books, Berwald's scent. He slid down to the floor, the shock of what he just did setting in, tears falling silently and staining the sweatshirt swamping his body.

"Yo, Lukas, you ready for food?!" Matthias hollered threw the bathroom door, banging a few times. Lukas did not respond, so Matthias leaned in and listened, hearing a soft sob. He tried to open the door but it was locked, so he obviously did what he saw as the most logical thing. The door flew open and Matthias's foot was still in the air, making Lukas jump two feet. "YOU JUST KICKED THE DAMN DOOR OPEN." Matthias stared, "And you, Lukas Eirik Bondevik, are curled up on the bathroom floor wearing your possibly future lover's sweatshirt. Wanna explain that?" The Dane slid down to the floor and stared at him, grabbing his hand and squinting, "What the…" Lukas glared away in shame as Matthias pulled away his sleeves, revealing the bandages. "You didn't." "I swear to you, I'm so sorry Matthias. I won't do it again, just don't…"

"DON'T WHAT?! GET UPSET?! TELL OUR FAMILY THAT NOW WE MIGHT LOSE TWO OF OUR BROTHERS?! YEAH, OKAY FINE. Fine! Sit here, be all reclusive and depressed and self-loathing. Hate yourself, you conceited little Brat. Try to act to all big and bad and strong while you're killing yourself off. Be that way, you whiny bastard. I'LL hold this family together. I'LL tell everyone why you're gone. Trust me, they won't be happy either. Whine and cry and scream about how horrible this is and how you love Berwald more than anyone. But he is my god damn brother and you are full of SHIT if you think that I'm not sick with worry. I ain't gonna play friendly if you aren't going to be honest with us. If you are upset, talk to us. If you are MAD, talk to us. If you are fucking scared, TALK to us. Because, I swear to you, and I'm not joking, go out there. Tell them. The three of us…we feel the exact same way."

Lukas stared at him in shock and neither of them spoke for a few minutes. Finally, the shorter blond uttered, voice cracking,

"I'm scared, Matt. I'm really scared." He nodded slightly and squeezed Lukas's hand, giving him a comforting smile then leaning in and kissing his hair, "Me too, Luka. Me too."

**Okay so this chapter wasn't probably what everyone was expecting but, I mean, can you imagine being in any of their places? And, as for Matthias's speech, don't review being all shocked that he acted like that. He's not always the laid-back nice-guy. He's got to have some serious backbone and he's afraid and upset and angry. He's a big brother to all these guys so he's gotta be rough sometimes. I'm fine with this, so yeah. Hope you enjoyed.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Yeah, time to get Berwald back! This chapter is a bit...relieving. Kind of silly too.**

After getting out of the bathroom and scarfing down breakfast, the boys dressed and loaded themselves into the car. The ride to the hospital was rather uneventful, the boys blaring music from their car all the way there. **Before anyone asks, the Nordic 5 has three cars: a SUV (blown up), a Sedan, and a sports car.** They didn't want to speak, anxious and nervous about Berwald.

Upon arrival to the hospital, the four boys rushed inside. A nurse who had worked with them the last time they were here smiled up at them from the desk, "Hello Boys, are you here about Berwald Oxenstierna?" Lukas nodded, "Please tell us he's alright!" She nodded and patted his shaking hand, "He's unconscious right now, but the surgery went fine. Doctor thinks that he should wake up within the next 48 hours. He's made quite a bit of improvement over the night; things are looking better." Matthias sighed heavily in relief, running his hands through his hair, "Thank you so much. Oh god, I feel so much better." Tino nodded in agreement, "Can…can we see him?" The elderly woman nodded, "Of course, Dear. Head down that hall," She pointed toward the set of doors on the right, "There will be three hallways connected to it, take the center one and he'll be the first door on the left." They thanked him wholeheartedly and pushed the doors open, the four standing in a (horizontal) line, hands intertwined with one another's.

"He – he looks so…broken." They gazed at him through the large glass wall of his hospital room, none of them having the confidence to enter just yet. Tino patted Emil's shoulder, "He'll be fine. The doctor even said when he called, his wounds look worse than they are." The teen nodded, "So, are we…gonna go in and see him?" Lukas sat down on a chair in the hall, "I'm not ready for this. I can't hear the beeping of the machines and his troubled breathing right now; I can't handle it." Matthias patted his back and rubbed softly, "You're doing great, Luka. You've got this." Tino smiled and wrapped his arm around Emil's shoulder, "We don't have to go in just yet. Why don't we talk? We haven't had a good, healthy talk in a while."

The four sat around in a circle in this hallway, laughing and talking. "Oh god, Lukas, no!" "Remember that time when Tino got completely smashed at _Euphoria_ and ended up singing 'Primadonna Girl' for everyone after a meeting?" Matthias and Emil began cracking up as Tino screamed and punched Lukas in the shoulder. "Cause I'm a primadonna girl, yeah! All I ever wanted was the world! Can't help that I need it all! Primadonna life, the rise and fall!" Emil and Matt sang in unison, laughing and rocking back and forth, arms around each other's shoulders. They sang as if they were drunk, just like Tino was, and he pouted, sticking his lip out, "Come on, if we want to make fun of people getting wasted, let's talk about Emil's _first time!_" Lukas and Matthias "ooh"ed and Emil squinted, "Don't you bring that up."

"Oh come, Emmy, you don't want to discuss getting spanked on stage while girls – and a few men – threw money at you. Or pole-dancing and dedicating it to Xiao! How about the funnel?" Emil screamed, "DO NOT BRING UP THE FUNNEL!" Matthias began chanting softly, progressively getting louder, "Drink it, drink it, drink it, Drink It, DRINK IT!" Lukas leaned over, laughing hard, "I cannot believe you let Prussia sit you down, put that god damn funnel in your mouth, and then managed to drink the entire bottle of Smirnoff Ivan gave him." Emil groaned, "That was so bad! Never again!" Matthias patted his back and hugged him, "Aw, you'll be fine. It was funny as hell though."

They continued their conversation for another hour before a doctor walked up, "Um, you all are aware you can enter this room and see him, correct?" The young doctor had bright hazel eyes and a kind smile, lean, and about as tall as Matthias. Emil was practically drooling, something that Tino noticed, and he had to bite back laughter. Lukas nodded, "Yeah, we know, but uh…we need some time." The physician nodded and smiled softly, "Of course; I can't imagine what you all are going through." The doctor ruffled his short, darkened honey hair and walked into Berwald's room, Emil's eyes following him the entire way. Tino giggled, "He is rather attractive, isn't he, Emil?" The Icelander blushed and stared at the ground, "Yeah, he's pretty good-looking." Matthias shook his head and laughed, Lukas staring disappointedly, "Don't you even think about it, Emil Steisson. He's Berwald's freaking doctor." Emil nodded, "Yeah, yeah, I know. Can't help but notice that ass, though. Hot damn."

Matt gasped and Tino practically screamed, all three of the shocked listeners smacking at him, Emil shrugging, "I'm not even mad, Man. I could cook biscuits on that hot booty." Tino snorted, falling over and Matthias gasped in horror, Lukas's eyes going wide. Emil cocked his head, curious about the other two, when Tino gasped and covered his mouth. Emil questioned them until he heard someone speak behind him (his back was facing the door), "Well, I have the feeling I wasn't supposed to hear that and judging by the reaction, this was about me. And, in all honesty, I'm flattered." Emil's face turned bright red as he turned around, staring at the doctor, "I – I am so sorry! Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed!" The doctor waved his hand nonchalantly, "Don't worry about it. Thank you, I guess." He laughed and Emil smiled, "Hey, uh, my name's Emil, just for future reference." The doctor nodded, "I heard about you all, and I'm sorry for what your family has been through. If you want, at any time, you all can head in and see him. He's responding well to his treatments and…hopefully he'll wake up soon." Turning around to leave, the doctor faced Emil and winked, the other Nordics freaking out as Emil's blush deepened.

The four Nordics calmed down, and then, they heard a knocking noise. What they saw when they faced the wall was the exact opposite of anything they could have been prepared for. They gazed in shock at the extremely disheveled blond man, awake and banging on the wall. The four couldn't speak, the man scrambling around looking for something to show where he was. Finally, the four men screamed simultaneously, "_Berwald!_"

**My lyrics may be wrong for Primadonna Girl - Marina and the Diamonds. But it's cool. AND YOU GO GET THAT SMOKING BOOTY ICEY.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Getting a new character today :3 And Berwald's feeling better! Hope you enjoy!**

The blond sleepily looked over at them through the glass wall, squinting, trying to make out who called him name. The four men walked in quickly, smiling. Lukas walked up to Berwald and hugged him, "Hey Ber, how are you feeling? Are you in pain? Do you want me to send for the doctor?" Matthias muttered to Tino, "Doctor Hot-Booty," and the two began laughing, Emil blushing in embarrassment. Lukas glared at them, "Enough! Berwald, do you need anything?" The hospitalized one shook his head, resting against Norge's shoulder. Luke rocked him slightly before reaching for the man's glasses and placing them on his face. Berwald smiled softly up at him, "W-what happened?" Matthias, Tino, Emil, and Lukas stared at each other, going silent.

Matthias finally took a deep breath and told Berwald the story: the explosion, the arrest, everything. Berwald stared intently, waiting until his friend was done to speak, "So, let's make sure I understand this. I remember I was raped and on the way home from the hospital, we were blown up in our car? And, all this happened because I told the cops? Can I take it away; can I take back what I told the police? I don't want this anymore." Emil sat on the bed and stared at him, "I know this isn't in my place, but Berwald, you should focus on you, not us. We're fine – got some bumps and bruises, but we're surviving. Please don't punish yourself for what those animals did to you. We, and I do mean all of us, just want you to heal. For you to heal, you're gonna have to be honest with everyone. Please, please Berwald, don't be afraid anymore." Berwald gave a small smile and reached over, hugging the teen. Emil accepted this and held onto him, feeling Lukas slide around and hug them too. Matthias and Tino joined in too, Matthias squeezing extra tight and making the others groan.

"So, Doctor 'Hot-Booty'? Do I wanna know?" The other four began to howl with laughter which left Berwald confused. Emil was crying for them to not say anything, but Tino didn't listen, "Your doctor is kind of attractive and Emil took severe notice of his lower back area." Emil kicked him in the shin and screamed, "Kind of attractive?! He's a ten! And got an ass you can cook a steak on." Matt screamed and hit him; they others just laughed. Ber's shocked expression made the brothers giggle, "My doctor's attractive? And Emil wants a cardio workout partner from him? Gonna make him give you a prostate exam? Oral studies? Physical therapy?" Emil, by this time, was lying on the ground, as red as Spain's ripe tomatoes. Lukas's eyes went wide as he turned to stare at the door, a nurse walking in. She was thin and tall with ginger hair and eyes the color of unsweetened coffee. She smiled softly, "Hello everyone, while Berwald's in this room I'll be your regular nurse – my name's Alicia. If you need anything, just press the button on the bottom of that remote right there." She pointed at a small remote on the table beside his bed, and Tino nodded, "Thanks Dear." She checked out a clip board at the foot of Berwald's bed and smiled, "Things are looking much better than they were yesterday, Berwald." Alicia moved over to the Swede, "Can we, uh, have the room so I can check him out? It'll only be a few minutes."

Tino, Emil, and Matthias nodded but Lukas stared, "I don't want to leave him. Why do I have to?" She blushed, "Well, we have to, uh…examine him. You know, without the gown on?" Matthias 'ooh'ed, Emil blushed a pretty pink, Tino squeaked and stared at the ground, and Lukas became more than a little flustered, "Well, uh, I mean, since he's gonna be…visible, I'll uh…just, get out. Call us when you're done!" Lukas and the others ran out the door, Berwald staring, "You have to excuse them. They're losers." She giggled and shook her head, "It's fine. My family's weird too. My twin brother? Gay for my best friend. My mom divorced my dad, married my step dad, got a divorce, and then married my biological dad's sister." Berwald's eyes widened and she shrugged, "Family's nuts. But, I love them all dearly." The Swede smiled and nodded in agreement, then proceeded to stand up and stared down at the girl, "Well?" "Remove your gown, please, so I can check your wounds."

He, with pink in his cheeks, slipped off the hospital attire, leaving him completely bare. He stared into her eyes, looking for any reaction. She smiled softly and nodded, reaching out and sliding her hand over the bandages across his chest, "We'll check these first." He nodded and sat down, letting her check his wounds. She removed any wrapping and began sterilizing them, making sure they were clean and healthy, "No infections or ill-happenings, that's great." She continued down his body, checking and cleansing all of his healing injuries. He began blushing profusely as she reached his hips and lower stomach, right above his private areas. _God fucking shit, Body, what are you doing? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE GAY. I'm such a virgin, why me, shit. _She, of course, didn't hear his inner monologue and he wasn't having an "obvious reaction", which soothed him greatly.

Soon enough, she was finished with the cleaning and stood, smiling at him, "Are you okay Berwald? You're flushed! Are you feeling ill?" She reached out and grabbed his wrist, checking his pulse. He stared at the floor and mumbled something in Swedish, making her cock her head, "Excuse me? I'm sorry; I don't speak Swedish." He shrugged, "It isn't worth discussion. Can I put on clothes now?" She frowned, "No, sorry. I've still gotta check your thighs and back. I'm so sorry if this is making you uncomfortable." She grimaced and sat on her knees, examining the burns on his inner thighs, seemingly oblivious to his uncomfortable stare and anxiousness. She cleaned them and stood, noticing his nervous expression, "Berwald, may I be honest with you?" He nodded and she sat on the bed, staring into his sea green eyes, "I realize that I'm making you uncomfortable, and I understand that. I'd be uncomfortable too. But, I wouldn't do anything to take advantage of you; I know you're gay. And even though I find myself really attracted to you, I won't act on it for that fact."

"That's the problem! I'm gay but…I don't know, I'm lonely and vulnerable and afraid and attracted to you too. It's weird. I'm fucked up right now. Ignore me." She laughed and shook her head, "It's fine, really, and I kind of feel flattered. I understand you. I've been there; maybe, we should just…I don't know, let life work its way." Berwald smiled slightly and nodded, "Yeah, that's a certain lesson I'm gonna have to learn that lesson." The two smiled softly and she grabbed the clip board again, "Alright, I'm gonna inform your family that they can see you again now that I'm done. You can get dressed." Alicia moved out the door and into the hall, gazing at the four waiting blonds, "Is he okay? Can we go in?"

"Yes, Berwald's great. You're a lucky family; he's one-in-a-million."

**Yeah yeah, Guys, don't get your panties in a twist. Relax, this isn't gonna turn all cute and stuff. He's not going to fall in love with her. But this, I feel, is kind of important. Berwald needs someone to just kind of...be there, all appreciative and warm. He needs someone new and fresh. Sorry if you don't like it. It's not going to go too far into it, or at least, it shouldn't. And, not to mention, Doctor HotShit is going to be in here. Yeahhhhh get it Iceland! Hope you guys like!**


End file.
